I feel no shame in the openness of vulnerability I give to friends much better named as strangers. Though in such bravery there has been much disbelief someone would actually dare to give so much away, and in such I have learned my decision to do so can bring more chaos than to reserve myself in due time. Alas there is no time; there is no better time I have known to be honest and forthright in the given moments I find myself available to show compassion in friendship. In the lies and words hidden from me, about me, there is nothing more I can do but to understand the simplicity of a second and the web people choose to trap others and themselves in the name of their own name. There is fear in those who choose to hide their own selves from the world of their own creation, and I choose hide from no thing, especially those who doubt my intentions, as if any were pre-concluded to begin with. I feel no shame in the blessings I give to those who choose not to hide their curses upon me, for at least they are honest. In the trials faced alone, and to feel the open spaces around me where others once stood with, I have felt my own body weight pressing against the Earth, and I have felt it disappear in the midst of a summer midnight with deep cutting laughs of bewildering gratuity and tears once felt from isolation of misunderstanding now rolling from an unresting love that, even as a surprise to me, seems to stand relentless in the scorches of those who patiently wait to see me fall – for all that has brought me light and life also brings me a new angle to understand love; and as I call out my thanks to the process time had led to that moment, there no longer rested a weight in self reconsideration for a love so freely given, rather a stillness of the night and the resolution found in those including myself who have chosen to see past themselves into a world much easier to gossip about than to look me in the eyes and see where they rest in the sockets unseen until many years after my spirit no longer resides within this capsule. I feel no shame in the love I was given and my decision to never hide behind it, even when such vulnerability draws attention I did not ask for. Tender fights won by none and lost by many, but the ones who survive are the ones who leave with their hearts still in tact.
Tender Fighting
16 Tuesday May 2017
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